


Frozen Hands, but You Warm Me to my Toes

by au_moins_jessaie



Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Character Growth, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Bonding, Kai and Cinder as parents, Post Stars-Above, Retrospective, kaider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/au_moins_jessaie/pseuds/au_moins_jessaie
Summary: "She would spend the rest of her life watching as Prince, no,EmperorKai gave speeches and passed bills. As he went on diplomatic missions around the world. As he shook hands and kissed babies. She would watch him marry. She would watch as his wife gave him children - because the whole world would watch it happen."But in those moments the whole world wasn't watching, layingtherewas where there was something to really live for.
Relationships: Kai & Linh Cinder, Kai/Linh Cinder
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	Frozen Hands, but You Warm Me to my Toes

**Author's Note:**

> I’m writing about winter...during summer. And by winter I mean the season, not the book 😂
> 
> Quick note - Kai and Cinder’s children are called Rikan and Peony in this fic though I personally think they would have these as middle names or nicknames rather than first names. However for ease of readership and to keep with the consistency in the fandom I've written them without specifying whether they are such. You the reader can decide whether its their names or simply nicknames :D

Cinder’s hands were freezing over, and she feared that if she so dared to wiggle her metal toes they would snap right off.

“Stars, there’s a nip in the air.” Kai raspberried and buried his chin into the faux fur collar of his coat.

“A _nip in the air,_ you say?” Cinder asked, amused at his random use of such an archaic western saying.

He gave her a pointed look. “ _Okay,_ how about _‘the cold has a bite’_?”

She nodded to bury the smirk brought on by how hilarious he looked, wrapped to the brim in clothes and moping. The short exchange distracted her from the bitter chill gradually gaining on her, and anything that distracted her from her regret of not dressing warmer was a welcome relief.

Cinder hadn't exactly anticipated the sudden drop in temperature when getting dressed this morning. The same couldn't be said of her royal staff, who had pounced on her the second a glimpse of sleet began to surface and wrapped the Empress in a thick woolen coat. Tressa had also told Cinder that she kept an array of garments ready for any possibility, including but not limited to: impromptu weddings, funerals, the odd bar mitzvah and weather of any temperature.

Tressa must have scared the maids into following her scrupulous wardrobe instructions. But, seeing as her favourite maid and close friend was away from the Eastern Commonwealth with Cress, Thorne, Winter and Jacin, her usual attentiveness to minute details was noticeably absent.

In this case, it appeared in the lack of adequately warm clothing. Not that Cinder would berate her maids over it (though she was sure that Tressa would have _never_ let them hear the end of it), and she was fairly used to going without the necessarily correct amount of warmth. After all, Cinder was hardly provided an expansive wardrobe during her years with Adri. She hadn't minded much in the summer, grateful that her thin tank tops and baggy pants billowed out just enough to keep her cool. The same couldn’t be said of wintertime, when her singular measly jacket only barely managed to protect her from the harsh elements but did nothing to fight the raw chill. She could illusion herself with the promise of a warm bed at night, but it brought no solace in its blatant absence.

The coat had been more than sufficient for the first leg of the trail, but without thick pants or undershirts or even a scarf the sudden appearance of frost drifting its way upon the gardens left Cinder feeling grossly underdressed. Her metal limbs were frosting over in parts, matted with condensation in others. She didn't need to touch it against her human skin to know it would be freezing cold, but didn't want to thrust it into her warm pockets lest it dampen the garment and render it's residual warmth useless. 

Cinder let out a breath, watching how the cloud of hot air spread before her in an imploding cocoon, then dissipated a moment later. Though her cheeks would not be stained red as her internal controls prohibited it, her nose had taken on the faintest flush that even her cyborg biology couldn't prevent.

It wasn't a gelid cold, but the jacket was simply not enough to prevent a measure of chill from penetrating her defence and striking her core with a biting freeze. Realising she couldn't rely on her clothes to temper the encroaching numbness, Cinder quickened her pace to produce heat, careful to keep her hand adjacent from her body where it wouldn't make her efforts null.

The floor beneath her was becoming slippery with the sleet, and Cinder silently thanked the ground for being gravel as it lent her some grip. Had she been walking on concrete, and perhaps without thick boots, it would have ended _badly._ The royal Hokkaido chalet was a known getaway spot for Commonwealth royalty, Kai having spent many weeks stowed away in the grand but cosy sojourn with his parents. It was known to be a cold region, but the royal staff hadn’t exactly anticipated snowfall as they weren’t yet to breach wintertime. Cinder hadn’t spent much time in the Chalet before, usually staying in the more formal residences of neighbouring areas. But Kai had been particularly nostalgic this time around, and the fact the lodging was close by the upcoming conference setting made the suite convenient. 

Cinder sighed aloud. Though she loved her little break away with her family, it was a little frustrating that it couldn't _exactly_ be considered as such. She quickly got over her disappointment, as it was replaced with the reminder that almost every trip away she and Kai had ever managed to squeeze out of their schedules was always partially if not fully work related. It came with the territory of governing billions of citizens, so she couldn't say that she expected differently. Her life would have been much the same if she wasn't the empress, her birthright having been a similarly demanding role.

Exerting herself in a swift stroll was slowly becoming effective, but the heat her body generated was insignificant when compared to the warmth emanating from the hand thrust upon her cheek.

“Love, you’re freezing.” Kai stopped both of them in their pace and brought his backhand upon her face as if checking for a fever.

“Well it’s not exactly sunny 30 degrees.”

He without hesitation removed his outer coat and draped it over his wife’s shoulders. “I _knew_ you weren't rugged up enough. It’s a good thing I have two coats on.”

She shrugged into the sanctuary of the material, already feeling Kai’s borrowed warmth seeping from it into her skin. “I hardly expected it to get so cold.”

His eyes glistened as he looked upon her. “Me neither, but at least I _was_ prepared.”

She moved to bat him with her metal hand, but halted before it could connect with his arm. Kai extracted his hands from his pockets, scooted up his arms so they were protected by his coat, and took the limb into his own. He studied how the interconnected knuckles were frosted over with icy residue, the digits jutting out from them covered with an unmistakable glaze. 

“So I didn't mean you were _literally_ frozen-” He attempted to wipe away the excess with his sleeve, partially succeeding before dropping the limb as its transferred cold crept up into his own hand. “-but it turns out you _are._ ” Cinder dared to touch the hand, hissing mildly from its cold and readjusted her wedding bands from where Kai bumped them sideways.

“See this is why I always wore my work gloves.” Gloves would've been handy in this scenario, but she didn't think to bring any with how rarely she wore them now. Other than for the occasional mechanical task, gloves weren't a necessity, and it surprised Cinder how little attention she paid to something once constantly at the forefront of her mind.

He squinted and puckered his lips. “I seem to recall you wearing gloves in scorching summer heat.” 

“Kept my hands from getting dirty.” She chagrined. “Of course, until I’d wipe my face and get it on there instead.”

Kai took her right hand in his and blew hot air on it before dropping a kiss just above her fingertips. “At least this one isn’t as cold.”

Once - by his standards - it had reached an acceptable temperature, Kai nodded and let the hands fall to their side, still strung together. They resumed treading along the path, Cinder moving her sights to behold the misty splendour the garden brought forth. Cinder had seen her fair share of majestic grounds in her time, appreciating greenery more after years on Luna where it wasn't quite the same. Many of the estates they visited she actually owned with Kai, but it wasn’t until she was in them with the eager nature seeking Cress or catching up with her friends or taking late night strolls with her husband that she really appreciated having such easy access.

“You see those rocks over there?” Kai lifted their hands to point past a grassy knoll without relinquishing his grip on hers. Cinder twisted her body from the line of sight of bumbling children to look where he directed.

“I lost my portscreen in a crack between those rocks. I was devastated, I tried finding where it was but couldn't reach it.” He barked out a laugh, and Cinder couldn't help giggling as she imagined a young Kai, distraught and blubbering over a lost portscreen that was easily replaceable for a Prince.

“I bet you were sobbing.”

“Oh I was, I didn’t have much grip on my emotions back then.”

“Ah. Well, in that case, you couldn’t have been younger than, what, seventeen?” 

“Hey!” He bumped her side playfully. “I was like, seven years old. I thought it meant I wouldn’t be responsible enough to be Emperor.”

‘And you were absolutely correct. Now you’ve confessed I expect your notice of abdication any day now, if you know what’s good for you.” Her eyes flickered up to meet his twinkling with nostalgia.

“I’m not sure Peony’s _quite ready_ for the throne just yet, unless you decide to assume absolute authority.”

She guffawed. “Torin would have a heart attack.”

“That he would.” His chest heaved with mirth, imagining his trusted advisor’s reaction to such a fatal prospect.

Peony was the youngest of their children, and yet Kai and Cinder spoke of her as the future empress without much hesitancy. Their son loved the Eastern Commonwealth and its people, but he was very and so undeniably Lunar. Each year he impatiently anticipated their trips to Luna, speaking of nothing else, and reveled in the awesome displays the country had to offer. His appreciation wasn't merely because of his cousins the Hayle-Clays, and each night the young Prince gazed at the luminary presence and wished he was there. Though Cinder herself had never felt truly connected to her country of origin, it wasn't illogical that the Lunar identity would resurface from her lineage. And, she supposed if she hadn't abdicated, her son may have very well become King of Luna. He expressed that he wanted to live and work there one day and it seemed not in the position of a visiting emperor. It wasn’t apathy for the Commonwealth after all that brought on this allegiance, but rather a fervent desire to help people, and mending the general ethos and relationships of Luna was where Rikan felt fit to start.

Their youngest however, the precocious and loquacious Princess was already Empress material at the tender age of five. Rikan’s love for Luna was only rivaled by Peony’s love for her home, and anywhere in the Eastern Commonwealth. She too cared about the people, Cinder recalling one occasion where a snivelling Peony had tearfully explained they needed to teach children to swim so they wouldn't drown like her mother almost had. Cinder had expected that tactfully explaining the events of how Mummy met Daddy (Cinder deciding to be truthful as opposed to Kai’s fanciful retellings of how he fell in love with the mechanic at first glance) would perhaps elicit some confusion, concern and a healthy amount of awe. It seemed however that Peony, not understanding being a princess like her mother did not equate mutual experience, was sure that without action, she and any number of children would be in danger if they stepped one foot into water. Peony’s goading was effective on her doting father, who instituted a swimming safety program for all children in the Commonwealth. Upon her daughter's future urging, Cinder in the role of advisor took to campaigning for a similar program on Luna. Everyone had been thoroughly impressed with the agency of a girl barely beginning school, and Kai had smiled with pride for weeks. Such an occurrence was only one of the many events that stipulated a certain leaning for the future leader. 

Cinder and Kai had decided long before they'd had children, even before they'd gotten married, that they would give their children something never available to them: a choice. Who would end up on the throne could be decided later, and they wanted to help their children into their futures as much as they could without undervaluing the gravity of the role.

The snow was falling in soft increments and caught in their unprotected hair. It looked quite similar to the many occasions where Cinder’s hair was trapped in dust, but this time the ice pellets quickly melted and left spotted dampness around her scalp. A sudden chilly breeze hit them and Cinder shivered.

“You wanna go inside?” Kai’s tone took on a concerned timbre. Though the walk was meant to be a reprieve before the emperor and empress were expected at a formal induction, he would be perfectly happy taking the break inside where he could guarantee his wife’s appendages wouldn't take on the qualities of a refrigerator.

She didn't pause to consider it, but rather burrowed further into his side and continued striding past the ice stricken shrubbery. “Let’s give the kids a chance to play. They’re warm enough, I don't want to steal their fun.”

“Yes, _but,_ ” He grasped the lapels of her coat, pulling her into him till his hot breath fluttered through her eyelashes. “Not at the expense of your body temperature. I’m sure they'd be just as happy exploring the rooms as they are outside.”

Cinder lifted her free hand, now tepid from his prior hold, to brush a wisp of snow from his chin. “That’s probably why I ended up like this. I was too distracted making sure Rikan and Peony had enough layers that I forgot about my own.”

“If I was wearing a scarf I'd _totally_ wrap it around you and use it as an excuse to pull you in and kiss you. It would have been really romantic. You would’ve swooned.” His earnest expression was regretful yet undisputedly teasing.

“It would've been really _cliche_. Besides-” She flapped her arms out, shifting the coat she had now long put on properly and buried into. “-this is far more practical. You can still do the kissing part though.”

“Will you swoon?” Having not released her lapels, he tugged on them so her torso was flush against his. 

“Undoubtedly.” She kissed him and sighed at the instant heat it brought back to her skin. It was more than the added warmth that she was relishing however. Kai tipped his nose so their faces were better slanted against each other. She instinctively reached up to cup his face and he laughed through the kiss when the coolness met his cheek. She, realising her mistake laughed in turn and retracted her hand, though she didn't break the kiss. Kai stumbled a little when a flurry of energy bounced onto his leg.

“Duty calls.” He murmured onto her mouth.

“One more second.” She responded.

Failing to keep her resolve Cinder lingered in the kiss for another four seconds before peeling away to face her daughter.

“Look what I’ve got!”

The child lifted its chubby fist up to her parents, snow laying snuggly in her palm.

Kai knelt down and shared a look of awe with his daughter. “It’s already thick enough to pick up!”

She nodded eagerly. “Uncle Thorne said snow is made of rain,” her words punctured with staccato, “but it’s not water.”

Cinder’s retina display unnecessarily called up diagrams on the chemical composition and water cycle of snow. “It’ll melt into water when it's not so cold.”

Peony closed her gloved hands and frowned when the powdery substance dissolved into her mittens. “It’s gone.”

Cinder hoisted the girl into her arms, assured by the fact her own cold hands wouldn't be felt through Peony’s sturdy outerwear. “There’s lots more for you to play with all around us.”

The couple with Peony in tow made their way over to their son bounding up to them.

“Don’t run Rikan, it’s slippery.” Kai called out, and the boy stopped sprinting, stooped to gather snow, and frantically tossed it into the air.

“The snow is falling!” His beam became critical at seeing his sister in their mother’s embrace. “Peony threw some at me.”

Peony, confused but understanding the negative tone puckered out her lip, wishing to protest in fear she was in trouble. She didn’t need to, with Cinder’s laughter and Kai mussing up his son’s hair.

“It’s okay baby, Aunt Peony and I used to have snowball fights when we were little too.”

Peony, now satisfied she wasn't being reprimanded, tried to toss remnants of snow from her hand onto her brother's head but found her palm empty. Cinder leaned down to rest her soundly on the path, where she promptly scurried to her knees to pick at the frost.

Kai, not one to spare a moment relieving his childhood joined the giggling children and softly tossed a snowball into Rikan’s side. He squealed an incoherent _Dad!_ and stumbled in his own retaliation. Kai let out an exaggerated and ungodly groan at the hit. “Noooo, you’ve got me! Peony, you _must_ avenge me!”

The tottering five-year-old rushed over to where her father had dramatically splayed himself, crying: “I’ll save you Dada!”

The scene was so picturesque that Cinder couldn’t help imagining how it looked like when she and Peony, not much older than her own children, had played together in such weather. She smiled at the memory, glad that ones like those overshadowed her other poorer recollections of slipping on icy ground and an untrained cyborg foot on her very first day in New Beijing. She prefered to think of her limited but happy memories of Peony than the hard times, and affirmed this resolution by clutching the cool necklace laying atop her shirt, itself containing the ID chip Kai had returned to her possession.

Cinder was even more content to add this day to the snowy day collection, drinking in the insurmountable peace she felt at seeing her family happy, and her in turn the happiest she'd ever been. It would almost be matched by the aftermath, with bubbles of laughter and steaming cups of green and jasmine tea, her babies cuddled into her arms in warm blankets, surely about to fall asleep. Her and Kai would grin as the kids nodded off, lacing hands together and forgetting the world and its expectations in the moments they could. Because it was something to live for, to really enjoy.

Kai drew the kids to him, huddling together and whispering some conspiracy against her, evident from the devious looks on their three adorable faces. Cinder was hardly surprised when they discreetly (as discreetly as a five and eight year old were capable of) gathered a ball of snow and transferred it to their Father. He, thanking them for their _“brilliant collecting skills”_ utilised his height and strength to send the ball rocketing into Cinder, though he was careful to direct it away from any exposed skin. She rolled her eyes and chuckled as Peony and Rikan broke into hysterics, not recognising that their Mother had been very aware of what was coming. Kai though merely looked at her with a toothy smile and adoration she knew must be mirrored on herself. And if her gleaming metal hand captured the view of her family and reflected it to everyone she ever encountered, she couldn't imagine a better thing to be known by.

“Now come on mandu, Eomma’s really cold. Maybe we should save the snowball fight for another day.” 

A string of disappointed sighs spiked the air, but discerning the seriousness in Kai’s tone hung their heads and began getting up from the ground. This momentary distraction was opportune for Cinder, who swiftly gathered snow into her metal hand unnoticed. Breaking it into two portions, she neared the children and without warning thrust a shower over her son, then the same with the second ball over her daughter. The young royals shrieked and writhed with laughter, and Kai with his own _‘ha!’_ gathered snow in one hand and Peony in the other. Gently dropping it into her open mitt he used his height as a leverage for her to scatter the frosty flakes over Cinder. 

She feigned offence before careering over to tickle the Princess, who responded with gasping giggles. Cinder used her fleshly hand, sure that all efforts to warm her metal one were now futile having stuck it in the cool sleet to amass a weapon against her effervescent children. Still, she hardly noticed enough to care with the kiss Kai dropped on Peony's hair, and then to Cinder’s closed eyelids. She pecked his lips in response and smothered a kiss on the dark skin of Rikan’s cheek. Her own lingering chill and the upturn of blustering wind meant that they would only remain outside for a few minutes more, but Cinder was satisfied that they’d had their fill of snow and the sauna-like-steam their familial content amidst the cool brought. 

It was more than something to live for, and she was grateful for that day all those years ago with her little sister. She’d been an outcast, having barely lived and now confronting it with bumbling cyborg extremities and a poor to nonexistent skill set. Not knowing whether she was human or cyborg, not having tears to prove either way and burning nightmares that pointed to living being something she was once close to losing. But that day with Pearl and Adri gone, and her and Peony simply playing and talking and ignoring the rime ice on Cinder’s hand to favour boiling tea had given her a taste of why living wasn't always so bad. 

She was just as cold now, but no longer the outcast, afraid and lonely. The chatters and kisses were more than enough to pour into that void and fill her up to the brim till she was swelling with the trickling burble of life she loved. They were loud enough to muffle the always present uncertainty; a mother, an empress, a cyborg only just on the other side of being mere property. 

“Okay you three, let's head back inside.” Rikan rushed to Cinder’s side, Peony still bundled up in Kai’s arms. “We can warm up your blankies.”

Rikan groaned beside her, with all the boundless energy of an eight year old boy. “Can’t we stay out _longer?_ ”

“I’m _cold_.” She admitted with a chortle.

Kai tsked. “I think we need to give her _lots_ of hugs to warm her up.”

“I’ll leave that to you, Dad.” Rikan tittered.

“Can we have chocolates?” Peony lisped out.

Cinder smiled. “We’ll see.”

Her exhales still marked the air with its warm cloud, and her internal interface still kept her face from turning a rosy blush. And though her hands were still frozen, the sight of her family warmed her right to her metal toes.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, for any Americans out there 30 degrees celsius is 86 degrees fahrenheit. Asia (and I’m pretty sure Marissa Meyer at some point in the books) uses celsius. 
> 
> Mandu is the Korean word for dumplings, and it’s used here as an affectionate term.
> 
> Eomma is the Korean word for Mum or Mama, and I used it because one of the Korean terms for Your Majesty is (forgive me I don’t know the romanisation) Ma-ma. This means saying your majesty Mother is Eomma ma-ma (oh my-my-my, oh my-my-my I’ve waited all my life…) and I can imagine Thorne getting Cinder’s kids to call her that because he loves annoying her.
> 
> Thanks for reading. À bientôt!


End file.
